Sunday, March 29, 2009

Collective Consciousness Conversation- A Few Days On...

One pattern is emerging in the Collective Consciousness Community.  When a voice strikes a chord in the heart of the collective, it is met soon after by at least three other voices---usually beginning with one of our fellow travelers who has been with us in spirit--and at least one other that offers a complement or counterpoint to the offering.  

Here is the post that began the most recent wave that continues to ripple around the world.  It represents a voice from our Constructive Action colleagues by way of Matthieu Daum.   It may be inviting us to notice how the brightness of our bliss comes with shadows that paradoxically reveal that which we continue to conceal in ego....What do you think--or as Laura reminds us, What do you feel?

Love, Zachary


Hi everyone,

I’ve been reading with attention the post-event messages, the photos, etc… I’ve generally been sensing a positive, energy-filled, mind-blown mood, which is different to my experience during the workshop, leaving it, and going back to Paris.

I want to share with you that it has been quite difficult for me for a few days after the event, and the mood of death that was clearly at the centre of our group’s work (the “constructive actions” group), stayed with me for a few days after. I felt depressed, I felt possessed with feelings I could not shake off, and generally felt like I was struggling against a force even more stubborn than me!!

I felt needy of actions, solutions, and found no answers from my experience in Leiden (that will teach me leaving before the end…). I felt I was shaken, and I felt I couldn’t shake myself back together again…


Last Monday the penny dropped, to use a vivid English expression: going through my mind all the time was the question: what happened in Leiden that I am not wanting to accept? What I am trying so hard to resist? And as I was linking these questions to the theme of death, I had an illumination:

I think that the collective connecting, the collective consciousness, the collective Being that I experienced in Leiden has called me to accept the death of my ego. I realised on Monday that whilst I have been so angry with Descartes’ “I think therefore I am” for many years, I have in that time been fooling myself with an “I act therefore I am”. But I am discovering, with strange awe, that it is much more complex than that.

For a start, perhaps it is not so much “I am”, but “Something, through me, Is”; I am the vessel through which something greater is expressing itself; just as you are, each of you, present in Leiden or not, on this email list or not, a manifestation of something whole, something One, expressing itself through us, interacting with itself through our interactions, creating through our creations…

Perhaps Leiden enabled me to experience Death and Resurrection: because as soon as I accepted, last Monday, to stop fighting and giving in to accepting the death of my ego, I felt filled with a strange and unquestionable energy.  Something greater exist, unquestionably, the question that emerges for me is: how do I want to enable it to come forth, to exist in the world? How do I want to shape its presence, its manifestation?

It also appeared clearly to me that our connections, the fact that we are all a manifestation of that Oneness, means that even my worst enemy, even those who are doing what feels to me like awful things in this world, are an expression of the same Being as me, are akin to me…

I trust that if there are anyone around me who can connect to what I am trying to express without thinking that I am a complete lunatic, you are those people, but even though I am not sure that what I am saying makes sense, even for me…

In any case it has propelled me into a really different experience of being, it is quite awesome; mysterious, strange, not really scary but certainly unknown…

Would love to hear more from others,

Lots of love,




1 comment:

  1. Friends,

    While still in silence as our group here in Australia begins its third week of the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius Loyola, just wanted to express my felt sense of connection with what you are sharing, in particular, what Matthieu wrote here and the with the subsequent posts on email by Aliki, Anjet, Sytske, Christine...

    The Leiden gathering coincided with the phase of the retreat focused on purification... suffice to say, it was both dark and painful, yet punctuated by moments of insight, liberation, and a deep sense of being loved even as I am a sinner. So, while we have been engaging the grace and grief of our maturation as a collective of consciousness, these movements of spirit resonate so deeply for me with you. A line from the New Testament scriptures came to mind just now, "that unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains a single grain; but if it dies, it bears fruit beyond measure."

    Thank you for including me in this experience... it encourages my heart in the silence. And I continue to keep each of you in prayer by name throughout the retreat.